POR SUSANA BAPTISTA
A
propósito do desafio para celebrar uma década de vida do Blogville, ocorre-me
uma experiência única de vida. Uma das viagens da minha vida.
Ao
fundo de um longo corredor uma sala rectangular, fechada, sem luz natural. Uma
única estátua.
Os
meus dezasseis anos foram esmagados com tanta beleza, perfeição; com a emoção
de uma estória de amor; com a incredulidade de como um dos mais aguerridos imperadores
“cedeu” perante a beleza física. Nenhum visitante falava, quase nem respirava.
O esmagamento era avassalador.
Esta
descoberta de vida acontece numa etapa da viagem Lisboa-Grécia-Delfos-bebamos a
cultura grega-Lisboa, no Museu Arqueológico de Delfos, nas encostas do Monte Parnaso, no Templo de Apolo.
É
considerada uma das mais belas estátuas alguma vez esculpidas. A perfeição foi
incutida pelo escultor grego a quem o amante destroçado encomendou o “endeusamento”
em pedra do jovem Antínoo.
Começava
aqui a deificação de Antínoo. Estátuas, templos, cidades, foram erigidos em sua
honra; até uma constelação foi nomeada em sua homenagem; tudo serviu para
celebrar este amor eterno.
As
referências literárias perduraram no tempo. Marguerite Yourcenar e Fernando
Pessoa não resistiram à tentação; felizmente para nós meros mortais.
It rained outside right into Hadrian's
soul.
The boy lay dead
On the low couch, on whose denuded whole,
To Hadrian's eyes, that at their seeing bled,
The shadowy light of Death's eclipse was shed.
The boy lay dead and the day seemed a night
Outside. The rain fell like a sick affright
Of Nature at her work in killing him.
Through the mind's galleries of their past delight
The very light of memory was dim.
O hands that clasped erewhile Hadrian's warm hands,
That now found them but cold!
O hair bound erstwhile with the pressing bands!
O eyes too diffidently bold!
O bare female male-body like
A god that dawns into humanity!
O lips whose opening redness erst could strike
Lust's seats with a soiled art's variety!
O fingers skilled in things not to be named!
O tongue which, counter-tongued, the throbbed brows flamed!
O glory of a wrong lust pillowed on
Raged conciousness's spilled suspension!
These things are things that now must be no more.
The rain is silent, and the Emperor
Sinks by the couch. His grief is like a rage,
For the gods take away the life they give
And spoil the beauty they made live.
He weeps and knows that every future age
Is staring at him out of the to-be.
His love is on a universal stage.
A thousand unborn eyes weep with his misery.
The boy lay dead
On the low couch, on whose denuded whole,
To Hadrian's eyes, that at their seeing bled,
The shadowy light of Death's eclipse was shed.
The boy lay dead and the day seemed a night
Outside. The rain fell like a sick affright
Of Nature at her work in killing him.
Through the mind's galleries of their past delight
The very light of memory was dim.
O hands that clasped erewhile Hadrian's warm hands,
That now found them but cold!
O hair bound erstwhile with the pressing bands!
O eyes too diffidently bold!
O bare female male-body like
A god that dawns into humanity!
O lips whose opening redness erst could strike
Lust's seats with a soiled art's variety!
O fingers skilled in things not to be named!
O tongue which, counter-tongued, the throbbed brows flamed!
O glory of a wrong lust pillowed on
Raged conciousness's spilled suspension!
These things are things that now must be no more.
The rain is silent, and the Emperor
Sinks by the couch. His grief is like a rage,
For the gods take away the life they give
And spoil the beauty they made live.
He weeps and knows that every future age
Is staring at him out of the to-be.
His love is on a universal stage.
A thousand unborn eyes weep with his misery.
(…)
Antinous
(1918) - F. Pessoa
