Jeff Bezos went to space today, for a total time of ten minutes, in his own penis-like rocket contraption. The bad news is: he came back.
When asked to describe his amazing pilgrimage to earths orbit, the richest man in history shamed Neil Armstrong with these inspiring words of wisdom:
- Best Day Ever!
Oh, the poet. Oh, the visionary. What a guy. Hey you, Amazon slaves across the planet: you should be proud of your boss-god. So, shut up about the low paying, unqualified, miserable jobs you don't deserve and keep mailing stuff like dysfunctional robots you are. It's all for the glory of Bezos.
Major Tom, eat your heart out.
